By Winta Assefa

Father, 

Thank You for everything that happened last year. It was a very eventful one, by my low standards. Meanwhile, You were doing Your thing in the lives of a lot of people worldwide. 

Maybe I’ll meet those children of Yours someday. 

Now, this is my first entry of the year. So, I had a minor mental-stutter while entering the date. Bless the young man beside me. He just woke me up from what must have been a short nap. 

The minibus we were in was already pretty much full to its standard capacity by the time I turned on the music and closed my eyes. 

Dozing off, by Winta

I wanted to avoid witnessing the back-and-forth that goes on between the passengers and the redaat when the minibus is full, and the redaat still tries to fit in more passengers.

That’s why if I can’t pick a window seat or one in the very back, I wait outside til another minibus comes along. I do that even if it’s already way past sunset.

I’m sitting quite uncomfortably right now. My shoulder is behind my fellow passenger’s, and the thing on which my back is resting has a weird hump. I was more comfortable before I dozed off. 

Did I really doze off, though? 

I mean, by the time I heard the guy I’m squeezed against telling me that I didn’t pay, the music had stopped playing through my earphones, and everyone was done paying. 

I asked him to wake me up at my destination just in case I fell asleep again.

Whatever that was, it was relaxing. 

It’s like I was. I wasn’t. Then I was again. I like that in-between place, and being relieved from the heaviness of consciousness for a bit. 

Thank You for Christ’s one-way ticket out of this mess. Thanks to You, I don’t have to have my sense of ‘self’ as my central reference anymore. This self was always restless. And one reason it sought sleep was to take a break from itself. Thank you for Your Spirit, which connected me to a pulsating, Loving Self. 

But while I’m here, I rummage around with this ‘old’ young body, always trying to rest. I really want to be more energetic while living Your life. So, at times, this body could feel like a burden. 

And while our minibus driver pushes us forward, I wonder: When Your glory is fully revealed, will we ever be able to stop gazing? Will we be able to step away and take a break, even for a moment? Will we ever sleep? 

Will the sense of enchantment in our dreams fade when compared to the beauty that we will see in each other, and the Source from which it comes? 

I couldn’t help but wonder whether being a part of heaven will be like being in the most vivid dream.

Thank You for the beauty I see, in random strangers and friends, and for what I’m yet to see in time-and beyond time. And for now, thank you for the existence of these little deaths we call sleep. 

Love, 

-w

@wintaassefa1 (Instagram, Facebook, Telegram)

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